


Why Don't You Love Me?

by lcg0103



Category: Original Work
Genre: Australian characters, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fiction, High School, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Character, Minor Character Death, Multi, Normal Life, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Original Character, Past Character Death, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Song: ...Baby One More Time (Britney Spears), Titanic References, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, lesbian teachers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcg0103/pseuds/lcg0103
Summary: Hi, I'm not going to say my name because this story is not really about me but rather my best friend, Aurora King and how she went from being my sister from another mister to someone I don't even recognize. I will be your guide through this story of love and loss and how fast everything can change.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally began writing this story with the inspiration of a song by Hot Chelle Rae feat. Demi Lovato and an ex of mine, but as I continue to write this story, my inspiration has changed severely. I write from what is in my head and what I feel inside and I feel like I am telling a very interesting story of love, loss, and finding one's self while dealing with the stress of life and high school. I will be honest there will be very minimal if no dialogue at all because I hate writing dialogue personally and I really love the idea of having the entire story being told from a single perspective of an unnamed narrator who is experiencing so much right in front of her eyes.

There is this girl, her name is Aurora King, and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever known; she is also my best friend. We have known each other since we were five years old and I used to know her like the back of my hand, but something changed between us. I have started to see Aurora in a whole new light, the girl I grew up with has become a woman and since her gain in womanhood, she has gained the attention of some unsavory characters. Most of them being the idiot boys from our high school and grossest of all Ms. King’s new boyfriend, Leonard Shaw, the principal of our high school. The man is creepy as hell, he is forty-five years old and he is oggling at a sixteen-year-old student. But that is beside the point, Aurora has a boyfriend, (who is a total douchebag by the way) named Daniel Bennet. Daniel has a history of cheating on his girlfriends and there are rumors of him that suggest that some of the girls he dates are the girls who he cheated with. Fortunately Aurora is not one of those girls but unfortunately cannot seem to realize that she is way too good for him. They started dating after she helped him with his chemistry homework and according to her, “they just clicked”. 

After she started dating Daniel, she changed a lot and not just physically but mentally. She stopped hanging out with me and the rest of our friend group and started hanging out more with Daniel and the other seniors who are just waiting to graduate or flunk out of school. Not to mention that her grades are starting to slip and it seems like I am the only one to notice it. It feels like I am living a nightmare because I am losing my best friend and she is becoming someone I know she isn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

After she started dating Daniel, she changed a lot and not just physically but mentally. She stopped hanging out with me and the rest of our friend group and started hanging out more with Daniel and the other seniors who are just waiting to graduate or flunk out of school. Not to mention that her grades are starting to slip and it seems like I am the only one to notice it. It feels like I am living a nightmare because I am losing my best friend and she is becoming someone I know she isn’t. I remember when I first noticed the change in Aurora. It was during the spring of our sophomore year of high school. We were hanging out at our favorite spot, _ Off the Stick Creamery _ down by Cole Farm. She and I were in the middle of her telling me about her new boyfriend and I could already tell something was up. For one, Aurora didn’t date. She was way too busy with all of her A.P. classes and trying to get into Coral Coast University, the top-rated college in our state with a highly sought after early admissions program. When she began to describe who she was seeing, I knew immediately who it was and I already knew it wasn’t going to be good. She told me that he was in a grade above us, that he was considered a “bad boy” and worst of all, he had a reputation that proceeds him but that he isn’t anything like that in real life. When she told me that they met through her tutoring service, I dreaded the name she was going to tell me. Then she said it, Daniel Bennet, and I just about died inside, the most wonderful, smart, and perfect girl I have ever known was dating the scum of the earth. Like I said before, this guy cheats on every girlfriend he has and somehow, girls still fawn over him and want to be with him. Maybe it’s because I’m not a guy but how people think what he does is ok and cool is seriously beyond me. I wanted to tell her that she was way too good for him and that she could do so much better but at the same time, this was her first boyfriend and I knew that I had to be supportive of her because not only is she my best friend, but I love her and no matter how much this is going to hurt inside, I know that she deserves the best and deserves to be happy and I know that I can give her that and silently judge how awful her boyfriend is. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was after that conversation when I noticed something wasn’t right, the next day at school, Aurora wasn’t there and in the eleven years that I have known her, she has never missed a day of school, even when she had the pneumonia, she wore a face mask and downed antibiotics and dayquil, just so she wouldn’t ruin her perfect attendance record. All of the teachers we had together and even the teachers we didn’t share asked me where she was and I honestly did not know what to tell them because even I didn’t know where she was. I went to her house after school to see what was up. Her mom, Nadia, was just about to leave for a surprise lunch with Principal Shaw when she said that Aurora was upstairs in her room and said that I could go up and see her. As I traveled up the hardwood stairs, I was taken aback by the distinct smell of weed coming from her room. I was surprised that Ms. King couldn’t smell it considering how strong it was but then again, she was very adamant about going to surprise Principal Shaw and there was nothing that would stop that woman. I suppose I could understand that; one of the things that Nadia was always open about was that she was quite young when she had Aurora, she was almost twenty-three years of age when she gave birth to her daughter. And now, sixteen years later, she finally found a guy she’s crazy about and who is crazy about her, she wants to spend all her time with him. If I found that kind of love, I would probably do the same. 

Anyways back to our tale. Once I reached the top of the stairs, I made my way to Aurora’s room as I had from all the times we had hung out and had an endless number of sleepovers. Once I reached her room, I knew something was wrong. For one, the door was completely shut. Aurora would never shut her door completely due to the fact that she had a cat and if the door was completely shut, the cat would lose his shit. But that is beside the point when I opened the door, I saw something I thought I would never see. Aurora was smoking a joint with Daniel, and not just that, he was shirtless and she was in a bra and panties that I know she got from Victoria’s Secret because I was there when she bought them. When Aurora saw me in the doorway, she threw on Daniel’s shirt that was discarded to the floor rear what I could only assume was his jeans because I was very positive that she didn’t wear a size 34 pant. When she brought me outside I started to put the pieces together, she had sex with him and proceeded to smoke marijuana with him afterward. We started to talk and she told me what I already figured out and essentially just confirmed what I found. I was in complete shock at what I had heard and seen. Aurora had always talked about saving herself until marriage so she could focus on her schooling and had always talked down about smoking of any kind of drug. So when I saw this I was confused as all hell. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with my best friend because this wasn’t who she was. And considering they were brazen enough to do this while Aurora’s mom was home was kind of showing me that this wasn’t their first time at this metaphorical rodeo. I couldn’t begin to understand what was happening with who I thought was my best friend but the woman in front of me was beginning to look like a woman I did not recognize. I could not explain for the life of me what was going on, but there was a part of me that had a slight idea of what was happening. Even though it was dark and awful I couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on. I hoped and I prayed that what I thought wasn’t going on but I couldn’t help it. I was genuinely worried that Daniel had cast his spell on her. Maybe he convinced her to do those things so he would stay with her, but even I knew that Aurora wasn’t that stupid, but what I heard and saw thought that it was possible that she did those things to please him. I really couldn’t believe who I was looking at. That was when I realized that the girl I knew was no more, the girl I grew up with and loved was lost to me and the rest of the world. After she was done explaining herself, I couldn’t help but run out of the house, I was taught it was wrong to enter a stranger’s home uninvited and since the woman in front of me was a stranger, I bolted for the door and did not look back. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next time I saw her was at school and if she wasn’t a stranger already to me, then what I saw her wearing would definitely earn her the title of stranger. Instead of her usual and classy look which usually consisted of a nice tartan print high waisted mini pencil skirt with stockings underneath and on top was a nice white button-up with a gray cardigan and a cute little black collar tip jewelry, and to top it off she would wear adorable black and white saddle shoes from the 1950’s. But when she walked through the doors of Lakewood High School, all eyes were on her as she walked in with Daniel and wearing essentially what Britney Spears wore in her “ _... Baby One More Time _ ” music video. Even Principal Shaw couldn’t help but sneak a peek at what she was wearing and I’ll be honest, she looked beautiful but I knew this wasn’t her in any sense of the word. I wanted to go and give her the jacket I was wearing so she could be covered up and no longer ogled at by the entire student body and most of the male faculty but I knew she wouldn’t accept it because she appeared to be enjoying the attention she was getting. Here she was sauntering down the pearl white marble hallway, past the black and white lockers and openly enjoying being ogled at by everyone in the vicinity. I couldn’t believe it! She was hanging on to Daniel like she was _ Rose Bukater _ holding on for dear life onto that floating door at the end of  _ Titanic _ , and Daniel was openly winking at every girl that they walked passed when they would give him the “call me” hand sign. Once the aching tone of the school bell began to ring, I could only hope that Aurora would come to her senses and find something to cover her up and run to her first class of the day, philosophy, taught by our favorite teacher in the entirety of the staff at Lakewood High, Dr. Stephanie Lancaster. Dr. Lancaster was originally from Australia but came to the states to teach with her wife, Mrs. Heather Lancaster. The Lancaster’s were our favorite teachers because they were really fun and always allowed us to work together no matter what the group assignment was and they always seemed to understand me and my feelings for Aurora. I remember going to up to Dr. Lancaster once after class and told her that I needed to talk to someone who understood what it felt like to love a woman. Ever since I lost my parents when I was thirteen, I had been living with my Aunt Ria and her boyfriend, I think his name is like Chad or Derek, or maybe it’s Chris; all I know is that I don’t like the guy and I think that Aunty Ria could do a whole lot better than him. When I left her home this morning, he was spread out on the couch playing what I think was either  _ Fortnite  _ or  _ Call of Duty _ and drinking very, very cheap beer with his idiot friends, while Aunty Ria was trying to get us out of the door so she could go to work at her law firm and I could get to school on time. Since she was a lawyer, she wasn’t home all the time and I really don’t feel like talking about my innermost feelings with her deadbeat boyfriend. When I was talking with Dr. Lancaster, she knew that what I wanted to talk about was personal and something that I really needed to get off my chest. So she pulled me into her office and allowed us to have some privacy. I told her about Aurora and that I could sense my feelings starting to change from friendship and sisterhood to romantic and fanciful. As soon as I told her there was this sense of relief and fear within myself because this was the first time that I had admitted out loud that I not only had romantic feelings for a woman but romantic feelings for my best friend and the girl I grew up with since I was five years old. But after I told Dr. Lancaster, she pulled me into a hug and said everything was going to be ok. I felt like I was being hugged by my mom again and that she wasn’t gone from this world which was really nice. I think about that day a lot and especially now because it was during a time where all I had to worry about was making sure I am able to graduate high school and go to Coral Coast University and get my P.H.D. in marine biology and become a very successful marine biologist in New Zealand while running my own research facility to help save so many beautiful aquatic animals and sea life from going extinct. I know it’s a very specific and lofty dream but it was my dream damn it and my parents had always taught me to dream big and not let anyone bring me down. unfortunately the same cannot be said for dear old mom and dad. I still remember the day when I got the news.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I needed to take a break from the novel because I was worried that if I force myself to write when I wasn't inspired that I would come to resent the story and I don't want that to happen with this one because I absolutely love this story and I consider it my baby and I just needed a break. Thank you for understanding and I hope y'all appreciate this new chapter. As of right now, this story is officially caught up with the hard copy on my flash drive. Please leave kudos and comments, they really make my day and I always love getting constructive criticism

I was spending the night with Aurora when we were thirteen, and Ms. King was making us some pizza bagels and we were in the middle of watching the best barbie movie ever made,  _ Barbie in The Princess and the Pauper _ . We loved the movie because we not only looked like  _ Annaliese  _ and  _ Erica  _ but we always used to dream of being princesses. During the midpoint of the film when Annaliese and Julian were stuck with Serafina in the mines when there was a knock on the door, Ms. King went to get the door as to not disturb us from our reciting of the lines from the cinematic masterpiece. When Ms. King opened the door, there was Millstone policemen at the door and asked to see me, I could only assume they went to Aunty Ria first because I was supposed to spend the night with her while mom and dad had the night to themselves inside the house for a romantic date, but Aunty Ria said she couldn’t house me that night because she needed the house to herself since this was before she was dating her deadbeat boyfriend and still in law school and needed to study for the bar exam. When they obviously saw that I wasn’t with Aunty Ria they must have found out from Aunty Ria that I was with spending the night with Aurora. When Ms. King told them that I was in the living room with her daughter, the policemen asked Nadia if they could speak to me and her alone, she could tell that something was definitely not right. Nadia brought the four of us into the dining room and sent Aurora into her room to get something, a stuffed animal I think but that part of this story isn’t that important. Once Aurora was upstairs and we heard her door close Nadia told the policemen to continue with the news and she held my hand so strong like she already knew I wasn’t going to take the news well. The policemen told us that there was a double homicide at my house and that there were no survivors. I could not believe it, I lost my parents at thirteen years old and I just froze in my seat, unable to comprehend what was going on. I felt like the  _ Baudelaire  _ children from  _ A Series of Unfortunate Events _ by Lemony Snicket. My father would read me those stories before bed every night. I can still remember him reading me book five,  _ The Austere Academy _ and would make up all kinds of voices for Count Olaf’s disguises and his associates. I tried reading those stories after their death but I couldn’t bring myself to do it without crying all over the pages. After their death, I was sent to live with Aunty Ria and during the funeral, I couldn’t help but hide my face into Aunty Ria’s body because I just couldn’t see my parents being laid into the ground. I can still picture their shared headstone “ _ Here lies Elizabeth and Benjamin White” _ .

Whenever it gets close to the anniversary of their death, I just shut myself off from the world and play sad songs while crying in my room. The first time, Aunty Ria tried coming into my room to cry with me because she had just lost her sister and knew that I was a spitting image of my mother and that she needed to be with someone who understood the pain she was feeling, but all I wanted was to be alone. I would barricade my door so I could be completely alone with my tears and no one could come in and bother me. The only one who was able to get me out of my room was Aurora during this time of tears and sad music. She was able to talk to Aunty Ria and that they found something in the will that my mother left me. According to both Aunty Ria and Aurora, as well as a person from the court who oversaw the will and testament my parents had made, my mother left me something, a diamond necklace. Apparently, it was a family heirloom that my mother was going to give me on my wedding day; it still hurts knowing that neither one of my parents is going to walk me down the aisle and I’ll never get to have a father-daughter dance.

It just eats away at me every day and hasn’t stopped since I heard the news. I think Aunty Ria used her new boyfriend as a way to fill a hole that was left when she heard the news of my parents’ death. I don’t really understand why she chose the deadbeat that she did but she seems to love him and he seems to love her. I know I want her to be happy, I just wish that she didn’t have to choose such a dead beat. After their death, I yearned for a maternal figure in my life to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok and since my mother is no longer with us and Aunty Ria is almost always with her beau or at the law firm working on cases, so when I told Dr. Lancaster about my feelings for Aurora and she hugged me and told me that everything was going to be ok, I finally felt like I had my mom again, and that felt fucking awesome. 


End file.
